The other night, I had a conversation with my friend about a topic that comes up too often lately: marriage. We are both in our early 20s, working our first job, single and scared that we are going to be single for the rest of our life. My friend joked, or so she said, that she’s considering to use the service of a sperm donor to have kids should she remains single in the next 10 years or so.
We feel kind of hopeless that up to this point that we remain single. The fact that we have stable incomes and friends at our disposal doesn’t seem to give much comfort.
But then I wonder, why should we care so much?
Could it be because that there is an invisible clock ticking too loudly on the back of our head, reminding that we are not getting any younger and marriage should already be in place ready to be planned? Or maybe because not having a male companionship make us feel that we are not complete; that being happy require us to find the right frog to kiss even if it means kissing a hundred other frogs or might even marrying one that only put our whole life in total shamble.
How did this obsession come into being anyway?
Do I really want to be in a relationship or this is just because I’m so afraid being the 30-year-old woman that the whole town talks about because I have no husband, let alone kids?
Would people believe me if I were to tell them that I have a happy, whole life regardless of my marital status? Does society gossip about unmarried thirty-year-old man as much as they gossip about unmarried thirty-year-old women?
Should I care?
I knot that I shouldn’t but I know for a fact that I still do.